Chocolates are nice. But according to Dr. Gary Chapman, when it comes to feeling loved by our partner most of us aren't hoping for gifts. Knowing your partner’s ‘love language’ can enhance your relationship by helping you understand what matters to your partner.
HER: Babe, you handled that goat rope at Junior’s school beautifully.
For 23% of us nothing says ‘I Love You’ like words of affirmation. Unsolicited compliments lift our spirit and tell us ‘my partner loves me’. ‘You’re so good at fake smiling’ isn’t what we’re talking about here. Harsh words leave us shattered and are hard for us to forget.
HIM: I’ll get the kitchen cleaned up while you put Junior to bed.
Next up at 20% are acts of service. Cleaning the toilet may not be your idea of saying ‘I Love You!’, but it might make your partner swoon. Just understand, if you’re a couch potato she’s gonna swipe left!
HER: When I get back downstairs let’s watch that retro-punk sci fi movie you’ve been wanting to see.
Tied with acts of service at 20% is quality time. That time you get to spend with your partner doing what you like or doing absolutely nothing at all. The important thing here is that you are giving each other your undivided attention.
HIM: I’ll hold your hand!
Physical touch is popular with 19% of us liking hugs, pats on the back and thoughtful touches on the face. This includes appropriate PDA like hand holding or ushering your darling through the door with a hand on her lower back. Touch creates a sense of security and belonging in the relationship.
HER: You brought those salted pecan banana caramel truffles I like!?!
Fourth runner up at 18% is that satin box filled with chocolates. Fifth runner up if it doesn’t have that handy little map telling her what’s where. Receiving gifts is nice and it isn’t about extravagance. It’s the love, thoughtfulness and effort that went into the gift that matters. A missed anniversary or a thoughtless gift will be a disaster. You screwed up didn’t you! Well don’t get her that wilted rose in the plastic sleeve from the guy standing in the median!
If your relationship needs more than a box of salted pecan banana caramel truffles give me a call at 262-933-1071 or visit me at SummitCounseling.us.
PS: If you would like to know your love language check out Gary Chapman’s online quiz at: http://www.5lovelanguages.com/profile/couples/.